Silence in the causeway of life

You really won't know what you're getting into until you're neck deep into it

A new place can be entirely foreign

And while it may seem nice like the warm interior of a warren

It's dark and barren

It fills your head with the ideals of kindness that rise above it all on the wings of a great   blue heron

Confidence soars and hope rekindles for the fact that you're surrounded by the people you        consider friends

Keeps that hope on the never ending spindle that is life.

But the string breaks in the dirt and dismay

Rubbed away by the shit of humanity that's coarse and grating that fucks with our mind And makes that shit look shiny

Like crows we gravitate

And obviate our doubts

Poised at the starting gate

Controlled by the magistrate

Taught what to think and feel and the feel?

Well it never goes away

The pain of the grating lies of humanity raking down my sides

Permeating my soul and destroying my heart

You try to go back

Back to the times and the rhymes of a world before that no longer registers your presence

You've slipped away beyond their gaze and into a haze that blocks off the mental           receptors

Of the defectors that had once called you friend

Now only fleeting conversation of the barest minimum to keep a meager bond of fake    fossilized friendship that fails to fly higher than 'oh hi'

You fall into yourself the dark shit stained world of your fear and self loathing

Coating you

Leaving your mind choking

Roaming in the broken coding that sears your irises in the smoking remnants of your                   sanity

All you can say to anyone is profanity driven by insanity

And vanity?

It says to never look up, to never see another person the same way as before,

In a false hope to protect what is left of your pride taken like a whore left to rot on the   ground floor of a building called war

We rationalize our ideas to justify our means that never cease to account for our own     misgivings

But the thing is you have to look up, you have to look up and to the sky

For if you don't, you'll have to let your family prepare for a prisoner of war killed by their           own mind

But if you do

If you look up and out of the choking darkness that seize the roots of your mind you'll see          light

A light that says you're all right

And it might

Hurt like the bright white wash of winters crystals

To the eyes of the blight that only sees well in the night

But the light can wash away the blight and invite so much more

I could say it gets better

But it won't always be that way

As much as we deny it or try to hide it the world is still covered in that polished shit that             we can barely escape it

But you can learn how to deal with it

To not allow that black kite to hold itself aloft over the bomb site of your fragile mind

You can learn to turn to that black blight and shout out

"Fuck you"

Because you're better than the blackness

Life sucks when you don't have talent

I feel like creativity is something that has become an enterprise rather than a form of expression unique to a person and to their talent and soul. Artists, musicians, and any person who does a creative work seem to be bound to an unwritten set of rules that are forced upon us with no choice in the matter.
I ask, why?
Why must we be forced to abide by a guideline of how we should and should not write? Why should all art be realistic? Has not some of the art you may have seen not be realistic in the slightest sense of the word but you are still undoubtably attracted to the piece? most likely you thought yes. Whether it be cartoon or surrealist ink blots on canvas, art is not something that can be graded and scored upon, but it always is.
Society now-a-days is built upon money and greed. We find every excuse to limit peoples choices in the world, and if you're not talented you're weeded out to do the menial tasks that the big wigs and prized talented people don't want to do. If you're not talented now we are told we will never be. If we don't figure out what we want to do for the rest of our menial grub fucking lives we are told we will never ammount to anything and that life will be fickel towards us.
And I can't say that what 'they' say isn't completely wrong. Life IS hard and will be hard unless we have some idea on where we want to go.


I realize that this post is probably a major downer on everyones day, but, you have to admit it is true.

Creation of Interest

When you become so invested within something, a series, a book, a comic, anything, there is always some inkinlg in the back of your mind that longs to come out and become a part of the fandom. A character, a setting, an alternate universe, but more often than not a character.
Sometimes it's more than one that come out of the crevices of your mind and become realised through thought and care.
For me it was multiple characters I made within the Homestuck fandom. It started with Thiija, my most original character. After her was Deyria. Becomeing so attatched to Dey, Thiija got lost within my mind and she separated off inot my fourth character, Richer, who I created after Mathis my second character. Now, my fourth was Sarian. Sarian has grown more than a lot of my other characters.


Working with your character allows you to know them, to work with them and get into their minds, developing them further than they had when you originally made them.
At the start Sarian was a rather two dimensional character with garrish pink blood (trolls within the Homestuck universe have different colored blood) and a rather shit attutude. Most would see this a an okay character that would be good enough for the fandom, but I didn't see it as such. I saw him as unfinished, 2D, and rather on the border of being a mary sue. At the time I really didn't care too much about his blood color, only going off of things that I liked. But I realised that It bothered me to know that some people would have something against his color as it generally would not show up in the hemospectrum, the range in which blood colors can be in.
I really began to flesh him out and give him depth of character and personality. I created an entire history for him and his ancestor, Vantaris, as well as where his story will go on to. Even now as I continue to use Sarian, I am still working with his character, still fleshing him out as I go along.
Since his craetion Sarian has become a complex character with his own internal strife and battles that drive him to do certain things and act certain ways. He has become a blue blooded sea-dweller, meaning that he is incrediblt rare and a genetic abberation. This doesn't mean that he's a mary sue, genetically speaking its possible to happen just not very often. With this being an abberation but still part of the ruling hierarch species, he was preyed upon and his childhood was a mess. Which drove him to become hard and cold and ambitious to become better than all of the people he knows and to be seen as not the abberation that he is but as the high blooded seadweller that he is and longs to be. But on the inside he is still longing to be accepted and to be kind and nice to others but he can't do it. Both of fear for what he will be seen as and the morals and rules ingraned into his mind that he cannot break easily because it was what he was taught as a child. In actuality he is completely reluctant to harm anyone and prefers to use bolas as his weapon, which only harm if you really mean it to. Even then bolas only go as far as to break bones and disable rather than harm. He doesn't show this pasifistic mentality, prefering to show himself as a fighter and a troll who kills without remorse. He can do it he just prefers not to. In a way this comes from his ancestor, Vantaris, who was notable for torture and ruthless information gathering. Within this sadistic love of inflicting pain Sarian gets a rush from it but gets a deep feeling within himself as to why he is doing this. More often than not he doesn't listen to that feeling, more often than not that feeling dies within him and is rekindles at another time. Within his persona he has an internal battle with himslef and what right and wrong is. But it is a loosing battle with what he his taught and what is is hown nature than what could be seen as morals.
Within his hard personality he pushes people away. Creating his own void of hate and resentment but also keeps alive his desperate longing for acceptance.


Sarian is still a character continually being worked on and he is far from done. I'm sure by later he will have progressed and changed as a character.

Problem of Doubt

As a creative person, in both drawing and writing, I am plagued with horrible self doubt. I constantly get through a character's bio or part way through a story and I start to wonder to myself "Is this really good? Will people really like it as much as I do?" Thus begins my spiral of hate and detestation for myself.
More often than not it begins when I see another person's fan character for a series. I see how awesome that character is how simple yet how deep they are. And I start by usually jokingly  say how much more awesome thir character is to mine and I then begin to look at my character.
"Why are they like this?"
"Gog, I haven't even thought of these elements."
"How can I even say this character is done?"
I start to doubt my designs, thinking how I could make them better or more awesome compared to this other person's character. Most likely, if anything, that causes my doubt is the person's skill in artwork. More often than not a person's character who could be concidered 'bad art'never phases me. But as soon as I see a character who is made by a respected artist or drawn well, I seem to doubt my own.
Now most people I know would tell me that there is nothing wrong with them, but I'll still doubt myself.

Odd day on -- Part 2 ((4 Chords fic))

It was nearly ten o'clock by the time Mathis got back from his package runs. He shoved his way into his apartment, dropping his bag haphazardly in the entryway. The lights to his kitchen were on and what seemed to smell like someone's half assed attempt at making soup was being made. "Hello?" Mathis said tentatively. A bright orange mop of excitable energy poked her head out of the kitchen door.

"Mathis! You're back!"

Mathis flopped into his computer chair and rubbed his eyes. "Deyria, I thought I told you that key was for emergencies only?"

She looked to the ceiling as if to formulate a clever lie. She was always good at lying. Mathis guessed that's why she was good at jobs like retail and her aspirations of being a lawyer or some such complicated mess that Mathis could never wrap his mind around. "Wanting to try out a new recipe on you is an emergency." She said, complete seriousness on her face this time.

Mathis sighed and turned to his computer, "Whatever makes you happy, Dey." Deyria let a little squeak of joy as she disappeared into, what Mathis now assumed to be, her evil laboratory of mediocre cooking. Wiggling the mouse the computer woke with a start and a light whoosh as the fans started up within the CPU. His chat client was blinking. Mathis knew that he probably shouldn't talk to this person in his already less than desirable mood, but he could never resist the blinking of the tab on the start bar. He clicked it opening the message:

TA: you 2ure are a piiece of work you know that mh?

Sollux. Figures, with the way that Mathis had exited the prior face-to-face conversation and his complete disregard for the fragile feelings of Feferi, that this would happen. Mathis was tempted now to just close the chat entirely and forget about it all, but Sollux interjected again.

TA: ii can 2ee you onliine mh

TA: don't try to hiide

TA: you know you'll have two talk 2ooner or later

Mathis continued to stare at Sollux's one sided conversation, his hands resting on the keyboard the typing icon blinking with faithful patience in the text box.

PD: Why do you even care?...

TA: the lonely boy 2peak2

PD: Shut up... and answer my question...

TA: ii care becau2e ii care for ff

TA: obviiou2ly more than you do

PD: I care for Fef more than you know!... that's why I had to leave her behind so she wouldn't get wrapped up in all of my shit...

Sollux paused in his writing and Mathis stared at his screen wanting to burn a hole through it. He cared for Feferi, which is why he had to push her away, to keep her out of his problems, to let her have a normal life. He didn't even know if she felt the same way about him that he did for her.

TA: faiir enough

TA: but you could have done all of thiis wiith a biit more tact

PD: Whatever...

--twinArmageddons has ceased pestering you--

Mathis sat stoically staring at the last log. 'Fair enough', fair enough? Like hell it was. Nothing was fair when your life was dictated on the times you have to go into court and persecute your father. Persecuting him was not hard, he tried to kill him he as every right to persecute him and he will, it was showing his face in the court and silently screaming out to the world "Look at me I'm the son of a killer!". He lost a lot of jobs this way from people afraid of him, he would had done nothing, afraid of what he could do or what his father had done. It annoyed him so much, that people could make such snap judgements of him when he had done nothing. Mathis kicked his computer, leaving a dent in the shiny silver surface, and shoving him across the room on the slick wheels of his char. Deyria poked her head out of the kitchen a damp wooden spoon in her hand.

"What the fuck is bothering you now?" She sighed and placed her hands on her hips. "You've been in a foul mood ever since you walked through that door. Is it because I'm here?"

"No, Dey, I--"

"Then what is it?"

Mathis sighed and rubbed his temples, "The past. Finding me when I don't want it to."

Her face gained a knowing look. "Ohh.. Oh Mathis, I'm so sorry."

"Don't." He put up his hand, his eyes still closed. "Don't pity me. I don't need that kind of shit right now."

She was quiet for a while, twisting the spoon in her grasp. "Mathis, I care about you and I want to help you." She crouched down in front of him, one hand on his knee, like a mother to a mopey child. "And I can't do anything unless you tell me what is bothering you."

"You sound like my mother." He mumbled into his shirt.

"For all intents and purposes I am your mother. I practically do your job sometimes."

"Only in the mornings."

"I bring your fricking first package to your mail slot every day!" She laughed. "Now, stop avoiding the question. What came back?"

He sighed and stared into the space in front of him. "Feferi."

"Wow." Deyria said raising her eyebrows in awe. "I would have thought that reunion would be one of the happiest moments of your life. Seeing as the happier times you regale me with." She stood and walked back into the kitchen, but it didn't stop her from grilling him for more information. "So... What turned the reunion sour?"

Mathis propped his feet up on the desk and stared at his toes. He'd really rather not get into all of this, he'd rather shove it all away and forget about it, but he knew Day and he knew she wouldn't give up until she got the answers she was looking for. "Oh you know, only that I found out that she's dating a guy I play online games with. Small fucking world huh."
"That's like a one in a million chance of something like that happening." She popped out of the kitchen again and pointed the spoon at him. "You either need to get a shitload of lotto tickets right now or never step within thirty kilometers of a casino for the rest of your life."

"Thank you for your pearls of wisdom in my time of complete and utter despair, Deyria."
"Always a pleasure to teach you, Mathis!" She said, flouncing back into the kitchen. "But I don't really see how him being a gamer online is such a horrible fact that you need to act like it's the end of the world."
"It wasn't him that bothered me to begin with. It's that Fef still remembered everything. That she still knew my face after all... this." He motioned to the scars on his face event hough Deyria couldn't see his gesture. His face wasn't terribly scarred but enough for people to notice from time to time. The biggest one ran like a slash across his face, up his right cheek and narrowly avoiding his eye. Second biggest was one that crossed over his right jaw, and the smallest of which cut across his mouth.

"Well," She paused, "I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better. I can only remind you of stuff."
"Like what?"

Deyria returned from the kitchen, a steaming bowl of something in her hands and a towel over her shoulder, and said "Like, you have a court date tomorrow?"

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Already did." Deyria set the bowl in front of Mathis' feet on the table. "Now eat this. I want to know what you think." Bringing his feet down, Mathis rolled back over to the computer table and took a tentative sip of the magma hot liquid. It seared his tongue and burned his throat all the way down, but it sat in his stomach like a hot stone; odd but comforting and satisfying. Deyria looked at him expectantly. "Well?"
Mathis paused and continued to stare at the bowl, tapping the spoon on it's ceramic edge. He stareted to raucously laugh, "It sucks!" He said in breathy gasps.
"Shut up!" She smacked his shoulder with the towel and laughed as well. "It's good and you know it!" Mathis hadn't laughed like this for a while. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day, past all the nastiness of court trials, and he could get on with his mediocre life.

Odd day on -- Part 1 ((4 Chords fic))

The cacophony of city life always started early, even earlier in the city center. A phone rang and Mathis covered his head with his pillow. He didn't want to work today, dodging city cars and idiotic pedestrians too absorbed in nothing to pay attention to his speeding form whipping round the corner. Inevitably at least once this week he'll have flipped over his handle bars and beaten up some part of his body. Most of the time it was his knees, which he hid under the thick fabric of his pants, but others it was his hands or arms. Any sensible bike courier would have called Mathis an idiot for not wearing protective gear like a helmet, but he liked the danger and excitement of going without. His phone rang again, screeching warble of a sound. Seemed to always sound like a cat being fitfully strangled, or just having it's tail stepped on. Mind, Mathis never had a cat so he was going off of imagination.
He sat up, the pillow falling form his head in silent defeat, and rubbed his face giving the phone a healthy glare. Leaning over he grabbed it from the hook ,silencing the piercing warble of its ring.
"Yeah?" He said continuing to rub his face. "What is it?"
"Farrin!" A gruff voice boomed on the other end of the call. Mathis moved it from his ear the harsh sound jostling his sleepy mind. "This is the fourth time I've called! Get your lazy ass out of bed and get to work!"
mathis sighed and put his head in his free hand. Today was not going to be a good day. "Okay, okay, just... stop yelling."
"I'll yell if I damn well want to! There are packages piling up here and you need to get on your route, now!" Mathis could just picture is boss, the usually squirrly guy would be red faced and spitting fire into the mic of the phone.
"Alright, alright, I'm coming." He hung up. "Geeze..." Running his hands through his hair he walked to the sliding glass door of his tiny apartment and pulled the curtains back. Strong light ripped through the happy darkness of his apartment, and Mathis groaned in distaste. He hated mornings. Hated getting up, leaving the nice comfy warmth of his bed, and going out into the cold morning air. Even colder on a speeding bicycle. Retreating from the strong natural light flooding in from his window he began getting ready for the day ahead. 
Splashing water on his face to fully wake up, he changed into the black t-shirt and cargo pants that he wore on a daily basis, packed his neon blue sling-bag with various things he might need (water, poncho for the odd day it rains, ductape for any time he busts a tire which is surprisingly not that often but still), and of course putting on the custom made leather bracers to hide the deep gashes and cuts on his forearms from a nightmare long past. He always wore them, hiding the scars that would brand him as that child of that Farrin to any person in the public. He could never hide the scars that adorned his face but at least he could blame those on his job. Wiping out more often than not did help in that respect. Also didn't help that he was named after him. Mathis was short for Metthias but he never ever liked being called anything but Mathis.
He strapped his neon blue and yellow bag onto his back, the only splash of color in is ornery black duds, slipped on his well used converse (also black) and exited his messy apartment, locking the door behind himself. Mathis would really prefer doing something else this early in the morning than ferrying packages from point A to point B. Anything, even something as mundane as talking to those two weirdos that Mathis played games online with. What were their screen names... carcinaoGeneticist and twinArmageddons. CG and TA for short. The former always seemed to use his caps lock far too much, which always made it seem as though he was screaming, and the latter had a penchant for using '2' and 'two' as well as double 'i''s in his writing, always making it seem as though he had a lisp. Mathis stopped in the middle of the hall of his apartment complex, looked to his watch then stared straight ahead and promptly turned 180, returning to his apartment. "I have time." Mathis thought. His boss already knew he was chronically late so one moderately late morning was nothing new. He stopped again before his door and dashed back down his hall to the place where the mail was usually stored. Opening his box he pulled the medium sized package and returned to his apartment.
Mathis' floor mate and friend Deyria always brought his first package to his apartment, one of the few ways Mathis was most likely holding his job. Returning to his apartment he flopped into the semi-comfortable chair that sat in front of his computer screen and turned on the chat client he used. They were on, they always seemed to be on, at least CG always seemed to be on. Did that kid ever even sleep? TA was also on, he was online less than CG but still was on more that Mathis ever was. He began to type:


PD: hello?...
CG: OH GREAT, YOU'RE ON.
PD: well that almost sounded like you weren't all to happy to see me on....
TA: hii PD
PD: hey...
CG: DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB TO DO?
TA: don't you?
CG: SHUT UP.
TA: hehehe
PD: yeah, I probably won't be on long, gotta deliver this package...
CG: WHO IS IT TO?
TA: kk your not 2uppo2ed two a2k tho2e 2ort2 of que2tiion2
CG: I CAN ASK IF I DAMN WELL WANT TO!
PD: it's okay, you guys probably don't live anywhere near me anyway...
PD: shit.. i'll tell you but then i have to go...
TA: 2uiit your2elf
PD: uhh...


He inspected the white and back tag that adorned the front of the package. Most of it was technological crap only to be read and understood by computers but there was the name and address of the receiver of the package, or how else would  he know where to bring it.


CG: SO? WHAT'S THE FUCKASS'S NAME?
PD: uhh... Sollux Captor
PD: bye...
TA: waiit, what?


Mathis leaped of the computer, snatching up his bag in one smooth movement, not even pausing to log off the chat client. He was later that he should have been and he knew he was going to get a verbal beating from his boss. Blasting out the double doors of his complex he unhitched his bike from its locked stand and took off on it with a running start. He was fast on his bike and good at dodging every person, which made him one of the better couriers in New York. He would never be the best, what with his chronic lateness and ability to wipe out over a pebble, but being known as 'better than average' was good enough for him. He jumped his bike off the curb weaving through the stopped traffic, yellow and black of cabs staining the metallic rivers of cars with their eye catching motif. He glanced back at the package under his arm, skimming the address one more time. he wasn't terribly far from the destination but far enough to put his nerves on edge of being late. Hypocritically he hated delivering packages late despite never turning up to work on time. Like birds streaking through the sky the thin wheels of his bike rushed over the black pavement blurring the harsh edges of rock and stone. He easily hopped a curb then quickly careened into an alleyway narrowly avoiding a gaggle of pretentious teenaged girls. Their outraged squawking followed him down the alley, he didn't care really moderate outrage from random groups of people barely phased him anymore. How long had he been at this job? Four, five months? Something around that. The alley was one he used often and favored for getting him quickly from the lower parts of town to the higher class areas, it didn't get him directly there but it got him closer faster than any other route he could have taken. A few more minutes and dodging through and around various tunnels, cars, and groups of absent minded pedestrians, he reached the street in question for the package. Relaxing back in his seat Mathis allowed his bike to coast along the quieter street, both hands holding the package that sat in his lap. He has grown skilled with his balance while on this job that fact is for sure. Before this he probably wouldn't have been able to take one hand off the handles let alone both and especially not in the ways he's been riding recently. That is to say, recklessly but with finesse and grace. He'd like to think that he made being a bike messenger look like an art-form but he more likely looked like a charging black and blue blurr, an evil charging bruise, and he knew it. The townhouse block came up sooner than he expected, sort of in the middle of the row of houses, and he parked his bike at the foot of the steps leaning it against the iron railing taking the steps two at a time. He pressed the small white doorbell button, hearing the pleasant chime within.
"Coming!" A muffled voice said from within. Mathis' eyes began to look everywhere but the door, his foot gently tapping against the concrete landing. "Alright." He heard the voice say, there must have been someone else inside. Unless this person was crazy. It was possible in a big city, though as to why they'd be in such a nice place was beyond him. The lock on the door twisted and unlatched. There in the doorway was a tall guy with short brown hair. His eyes were mostly hidden by what looked to be a pair of old style 3D glasses (one lens being red and the other blue) and his shirt was color blocked with red, blue, yellow and white. These would all seem tacky on just about anyone but he pulled it off well, really well.
"Uhh... Package for a one, Sollux Capt--"
"PD."
Mathis looked surprised at what (whom he suspected was) Sollux had said. "'Scuse me?"
" If I remember correctly you're the one who thaid,  it'th okay, you guyth probably don't live anywhere near me anyway?"
Mathis' eyes widened, "Holy shit..."
"Sollux! Who is it?" A peppy sounding girl with long dark hair squeezed under his arm. Mathis' jaw clenched. "shit" he thought to himself. "Oh... Mathis! It's been so long!" She lunged out and hugged Mathis around his neck.
"Feferi." This was all a bit too much.
"You know thith guy?" Sollux questioned her.
"Oh yes! We grew up together! Though he moved away after... an incident." Her voiced faltered when she said incident.
"You still remember that." Mathis began to back off a bit, still holding the package.
Feferi looked almost surprised at Mathis' response, "How could I forget. I alway wondered what happened to you."
Mathis incredulously flopped his arms in the air. "Just great you know. I go out on a normal run find the girl I grew up with is now dating," He tossed the package off to Sollux which he caught nimbly "the guy I play online games with. Small goddamn world we live in, isn't it." He started to trudge down the stars but returned to shove the electronic register into Sollux's chest. "Just sign for your damn package." Sollux picked up the stylus and signed his name, a look of disdain on his face. Mathis pulled a sarcastic smile, "Have a nice day." He said leaping down the full flight of stairs and pedaled away as fast as he could. He always ended up doing this, pushing away everything and anyone from his past life, or what he considered to be his past life. He wanted nothing to do with any of it, with anything that reminded Mathis of him.  It disgusted him to think about it.
Feferi stood on the landing watching as the bright blue bag that Mathis wore disappeared around the bend. It felt as if her heart had sunk to her toes, this was definitely not how she had wanted things to go when she met up with him again.
"That wath him wathn't it? The kid you alwayth talk about." Sollux said, a minute amount of concern within his voice.
Feferi nodded, "Yeah."
"The kid who'th Dad tried to kill him?"
"Yeah, that's him." Feferi turned from the depressing scene of the street corner and leaned into Sollux's chest.

Finding people who are fans of the same thing as you, and being accepted by them

It's often hard to be fully accepted into a fandom when you come inot it in the middle. More often than not people have their own little groups and it ends up acting like a high school lunch room in junior year. Everyone is content with where they are and isn't at all too happy with new people.


But when you get into a fandom, in my case Homestuck, and people accept you into it no matter how new or old you are to the series that is the most awesome thing that could happen. When you can jump into a chatroom RP with your own character, spawned from the creativity of your own thought, and people interact with you and are laughing with  you on all the things you expierience is awesome. To start a silly conversation with two other people cosisting solely out of two words you repeat over and over and having it impossible to keep the laughter inside is awesome.


Finding friends who, even though you never met them and might not ever face-to-face, can fill a lonely void that had surfaced is the best feeling ever. To be able to smile every day at inuendos that you pull together can never be beaten.


I have found the people who I can concider my moirails.
And that is Awesome.

Don't Mess With Me ((homestuck mini fic))

((A note before reading. Many of the characters have 'typing quirks' which identify them within the homestuck universe. Please don't take them as typing errors as they are there on purpose. Thank you!))
--------------------------------------------

He crossed his hands over the top of his poleaxe. He was tired, so much fighting within the days that had passed and so many corrupt dreams. Able to see people's dreams was his specialty. As Thief of Dreams he knew how to manipulate them and use them to his will. He adjusted the collar of his shirt, sliding lazily down his nose, but gave up letting it fall around his neck. He sighed heavily, letting his head flop in front of him. He missed her, missed her every damn moment in this hell of a life. Now he was going to the other side, to the world he helped create, without her. It made him furious every moment her death flashed through is mind. The shock on her face, the empty void blasted through her. It was like that hole blasted the connection between them starting a chain reaction leaving him with a hole of his own. A hole no one could see.
"MATHIS, IT'S TIME TO GO." A voice pierced his anger. Usually that voice was filled with malice and anger of its own, chastising people for doing what it was he was going now; being weak. But there was a sadness that covered his words, pity. How Mathis hated pity now. Hated being seen as weak, not being taken seriously. They didn't know how strong he could be. "MATHIS?"
Mathis turned and stared Karkat straight in his yellow eyes. He could see everything within them, all his dreams and nightmares. He was still afraid of Gamzee's rage, of Eridan's murder spree. Mathis turned away again. "Yeah... Sure... I'm coming..." He stood, captchalogging his pole axe, not wanting to carry it. Unfurling his ice blue wings, their miniature scales reflecting the light around them, he pulled the dark purple hood over his head, buttoning it around his horns and pulled up his collar. Only his eyes were visible and the fringe of his hair sticking below his hood. Karkat gave him a worried look, completely unlike his usual character. "Getting emotional for once, Vantas..." He stiffened wiping the pity from his face.
"LIKE HELL I AM, FARRIN. JUST GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND GET YOUR NOOKSUCKING ASS OUT HERE!"
There we go. That's more like the Karkat he knew. Karkat stalked from the doorway, raging his way onto the transportalizer at the end of the hall. Mathis smiled, he enjoyed it when he pissed other people off. He never knew why people's anger always made him laugh, or at least it it has since she died. With that Mathis pushed off the ground and flew off to the meeting point.


Mathis used to use the transportalizers to get around, but not since he reached God Tier and fully embraced his role as the Thief of Dreams. Now he was barely out of it and never looked anyone in the eye unless he wanted to. Eyes are gateways; they're the entrances that allow him to see that person's hopes and dreams. Their dreams can be so powerful, so useful, to torment them with and use their every living fear and nightmare to mess with them. He loved it.
Landing on the roof of the facility Mathis joined up with the rest of the group. Terezi gave him an excited wave and bounced over to him. "H3Y M4TH1S! 1SN'T TH1S 3X1T1NG? W3LL B3 M33T1NG UP W1TH TH0S3 HUM4NS N0W!" She sniffed him. "Y0U N33D T0 G3T 0UT 0F TH4T G0D T13R 0UTF1T 0NC3 1N 4 WH1L3. Y0U SM3LL L1K3 GR4P3S. >:[ "
"I'm fine like this Ter... I don't need to change..."
">:[ 0K4Y, BUT 1 ST1LL TH1NK Y0U SH0ULD." She paused for a moment hand on her chin. "0H, TH4T R3M1NDS M3, S0LLUX W4NT3D T0 S33 Y0U F0R 4 S3C! Y0U SH0ULD G0 TH3R3 N0W."
"Alright..." He never understood Terezi and her talent for smelling things. It was strange and it didn't help his distaste that Sollux was getting into those habits now that he was newly blind like Terezi. So it wasn't a surprise to him that Sollux was able to sense him before getting to him, though not as far or as well as Terezi could.
"MM? Am I right?" Sollux asked, his once red and blue eyes now black pits. Mathis couldn't see into his mind as easily as any of the other trolls. Guess the absence of eyes makes the connection to that part of their mind, their soul, harder to make.
"Correct... Your getting better at that crap... Won't be able to sneak up on you anymore, Sol..."
Sollux smirked, "Heh, I guess y0ur right."
"You wanted to see me..."
"0h, yes. I've been thinking since y0ur g0d tier p0wers all0w y0u t0 create thing 0ut 0f what we think 0f, maybe y0u c0uld make us s0me weap0ns. 0r maybe an alchemizer, s0mething t0 help us." He looked hopefully in Mathis' general direction.
"It doesn't work that way... I might be able to take things that you think of to use but I doubt that anyone other than me can use them..."
"Have y0u even tried t0 give anything t0 any0ne else?" Sollux asked. He was right, Mathis had never tried giving anything he created to anyone else, then again he never thought about it. Plus every object or illusion did disappear after a while, usually only until after they had been used for their purpose.
Mathis rubbed the black bracers on his arms nervously. "Well, no..."
"There y0u g0 then. Y0u do0n't kn0w that it w0nt w0rk. F0r all y0u kn0w it will."
"Your optimism is disgusting..."
"Y0ur pessimism makes y0u s0und like Equius." Mathis friendly punched Sollux in the shoulder.
"Shut up, I am not like Eq..."
"Y0u c0uld have f00led me."  He smirked and let out a breathy laugh, though Mathis wasn't smiling. Not too long ago Equius was killed in Gamzee's rampage and it's true in previous times Mathis would have loathed being compared to the hemospectrum obsessed burly troll, but now he wasn't sure. Since her death and his ascension to God Tier Mathis had become more concerned with his position. His lowly position as just an outlet, a source for creation, a goddamn weapons factory, he hated it. With a single look he could throw each and every one of them into their own personal hell created out of their own nightmares. A hell they technically created, and he just released. Mathis hated how Karkat, a troll who's blood color put him off the hemospectrum, was the leader of this ragged band of survivors. He was weak to Mathis and, if going by the hemospectrum, Gamzee should technically be in charge with his high purple blood; but not even Mathis was dumb enough to put Gamzee in charge. Gamzee was volatile now. He could fly off the handle at any moment even with his moirail, Karkat, to keep him in check. Continuing to go by hemospectrum, Mathis would be next. His light-blue blood putting him above Terezi with her teal blood and Kanaya, who was lower that Terezi with her jade green blood. Sollux was next with his mustard yellow blood and lastly the 'oh-so-great-and-powerful-leader' Karkat. His blood was bright red, which was mutant in troll society placing him below the low peasantry's red blood, such as Aradia's, and technically off the hemospectrum entirely. Equius could never usurp the 'great leader' as he had the strange fetish of being ordered around by low bloods, but Mathis never had such a problem. He could take Karkat out of his quaint little seat of power any time he wanted to, not out of obsession of order or class but because of Karkat's lack of strength or power. He might have acted tough but he was helpless in the face of fear and the threat of death by the hands of people he cared for. Mathis had fought him once during the course of their adventures when Mathis had taunted him about his own skills and his rather nubby horns. Mathis almost beat him if it wasn't for Equius getting involved in his fight. Karkat wasn't fit for the role of 'fearless leader' if he cannot be fearless in the face of fear.
"So what exactly do you want me to conjure up..." Mathis asked pensively, "Also who did you want me to get it from, they won't exactly like it... The process might bring some things out if it's complicated enough..."
Sollux turned to him, or at least where Mathis thought Sollux believed he was. "Well, maybe y0u c0uld try s0mething familiar first. S0mething that w0uld be easier f0r y0u t0 get with limited repercussi0ns."
"So something like a pole axe..."
"Yes that w0uld w0rk."
"And on who..."
"Me."
"You can't be serious..." Mathis scoffed. "I know you want to help and all but, you're blind... I still can't see a whole lot into you, I mean..." He rubbed his forehead pushing the hood from his head, the buttons securing it around his horns easily sliding from their fastenings allowing it to fall from his head. Running a hand through his raven hair he looked to Sollux. His face was unchanged, though it was hard to tell. "You're completely serious aren't you..."
"0ne hundred percent."
Mathis pulled his hood back over his head, fastening the buttons that secured it around his horns. "Alright, but I make no promises that it'll work with you or, if it does work, the repercussions that it'll bring..."
"I think I understand MM."
"But one last thing..."
"What?"
"Don't call me MM..."
Sollux gave a wily grin. "Sure thing Mathis."


After alerting all the others to Sollux's wild plan, they circled around Mathis and Sollux like spectators at a procession. Sollux stood across from Mathis, his unseeing eyes helpfully pointed towards Mathis by Karkat. Excited whispers flew through the air, some of skepticism and others of wonder. Karkat, Gamzee and Terezi were to Mathis' left, Terezi eagerly gabbing off to Karkat who only looked more annoyed with every word that she spoke which was quite normal for him. To his right was Kanaya and Deyria, Mathis' orange-blooded friend--and also the only other troll left who has reached God Tier--was notorious for showing up late and today was no exception. She whispered to Kanaya, whom she wasn't all to pleased to talk to at all since Kanaya was the one who killed her matesprit, Eridan. Mathis was surprised that Deyria was even willing to talk to Kanaya. Deyria caught Mathis' gaze and gave him a little wave before engaging Kanaya again in their awkward conversation. Looking back to Sollux, Mathis steadied his breath. As easy as it was for him to access the mind of any person, Sollux was a new challenge for him.
"Alright then Sol don't move, it's hard enough not having a window to see through let alone if it moves..."
"Sure." He said agreeably. Mathis took a deep breath and placed his grey hands on either side of Sollux's head. "Heh, y0u tell me t0 stay still and y0--"
"Shut up..." Mathis needed to concentrate and didn't need Sollux's wit to distract him. He continued to stare into Sollux's eyes; if Eridan was still alive he wouldn't put it past him to interject some quip about quadrants and how they were in one together. That would have pissed Mathis off. He disregarded that though and continued to stare into Sollux's eyes. Admittedly Mathis did feel rather silly doing this but he knew what to do and it unfortunately required this. Mathis' gaze remained locked with Sollux's for what seemed like an eternity, and then he began to see things. They began as dark swirls that seemed almost like reflections against his eyes, then they began to form shapes, figures, memories. Dreams are most heavily connected with memories, but they always end up changing. Mathis could see that the figures within Sollux's eyes were reenacting an event; it was her death. Mathis moved quickly to change what he was seeing, "Sol now! Think of it now!" The swirls seemed to be washed away like sand being disturbed on a table reforming itself into another shape, the simple shape of a pole axe. Mathis violently shoved Sollux away and stuck out his right arm, fingers splayed, where a similar black mist formed the perfect shape of that of a poleaxe.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR FARRIN? PUSHING A BLIND GUY WHO WAS GODDAMN HELPING YOU?"
"Karkat..."
"I MEAN WHAT THE HELL! YOU DON'T DO THAT SORT OF THING!"
"Karkat..."
"HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN HURT OR SOMETHING WHEN YOU WENT AND PULLED THAT STUNT!"
"Shut up Karkat!" Mathis yelled swinging the poleaxe as his whirled to face the raging troll. A back dust seemed to come off the weapon as Mathis moved it. His face dropped into one of sadness and regret. "Oh no... I knew this might happen..." Sollux propped himself up on his elbows from where he fell.
"What's g0ing 0n guys? Did it w0rk?"
"Yeah..." Mathis swallowed, his brows twisting in the pain of the past. "Yeah it worked..." His voice wavered as the dust seemed to form the faintest silhouette of a person.
"It happened didn't it Mathis. Things came with it 0ut 0f my mind."
The silhouette was faint but he knew who it was. Her long hair, the slight curve to her horns, the way she always smiled at him. His hands curled into tight fists and his jaw clenched. "Yeah Sol..."
 The nearly featureless face she had turned to look at him and smiled. ")(i Mat)(is." Her voice echoed through the room and tormented every fiber of his being.
"Feferi?" Sollux's eyes widened in sorrow filled awe at the sound of her voice.
"Mat)(is, you krilled me Mat)(is." Feferi said in a mockingly happy tone. "You krilled me and it's all your fault. 38)"
"Fef is that y0u? Y0ur alive?" Sollux began to unsteadily get to his feet and stagger over to where he heard or maybe smelled where he believed Feferi to be, his arms waving around in front of him. Mathis' face dropped and his features hardened. His gaze grew cold again as he raised the poleaxe over his left shoulder and slashed it across the apparition of Feferi. Sollux's hands groped around at thin air and pale yellow tears began to trace down his cheeks.
"Fef's dead Sol... Has been for a while now..." Mathis said somberly. Kanaya was the first of the others to move, heading over to Sollux to console him. Since Feferi's death Kanaya had pretty much become his moirail, looking out for him and helping him with his new blindness with the help of Terezi of course. Mathis turned to Karkat, gaping at the scene just past, and tossed the poleaxe at him. Karkat fumbled trying to catch it, ultimately dropping it. "Pick it up nubby horns... Need to see if you actually can..." For once Karakt was actually speechless and complied to Mathis' prompt. As soon as his hand touched the smooth surface of the wood, Mathis was sure it would disintegrate in his grip, nothing happened. He picked it up like any weapon that he might use. Though the poleaxe would be useless to anyone else but Mathis--well except possibly Gamzee and his odd jokerKind Strife Specibus which allowed him to use almost any weapon type--as most of the trolls specialized in other weaponry. "We should get going..." Mathis suggested as he began to walk off. "And don't expect me to make more of those, or complain that it disappeared..."
"Mathis, What Was That?" Kanaya asked as Mathis walked away. He looked over his shoulder, his own yellow eye meeting hers. He may be the Thief of Dreams but he wasn't below being tormented by his own apparitions, especially if they had a connection to him.
"A nightmare..." He just wanted to leave now. He was tired and done with all of this. Pale blue tears slipped down his cheeks and soaked his collar.


Hours of darkness and travel skewed Mathis' mind. It was confusing and stressful but he was glad it was over. Surprisingly when reaching the meeting placed with the humans and their scratched game, a troll Mathis had thought died was actually alive. Aradia, powerful psychic and former robot girl, was now God Tier and rather peppy than her former mood of dour funeral mistress. Mathis had barely said a word during their travels and wasn't about to say much now. Deyria on the other hand was being as chatty as possible with her equally chatty moirail, Terezi. Mathis had his back to the trolls; he was more intent on looking to the four humans that stood a bit apart from the trolls, two boys and two girls. Mathis hadn't talked much to the humans but had talked to the one named John who he was informed to be the black haired boy. The only reason he talked to him was because he found one of the memos Mathis was in on and began to talk with them. How he managed to find the time to do so in his time stream was beyond him. The other humans were different in their own ways. The Jade human looked a lot like the John human, same black hair and same stupid teeth. She reminded Mathis of Feferi, her overbearing love for everyone and her kindness. He appreciated it but it made his heart ache, so he attempted to stay away from her as much as possible. The other two, Rose and Dave, also looked similar. Both had blonde hair and serious faces with the air of highness among themselves. Rose he didn't mind, she was serious and had darkness about her but she was never overbearing and generally kept to herself or her compatriots. Dave, however, irked him. It might have been his high sense of self that he always kept using his crappy human sarcasm and irony. Maybe it was how he seemed to not give a shit about anything. But Mathis was almost entirely sure that it was because he couldn't see Dave's eyes. He wore, what Mathis assumed, were called 'sunglasses' but technically had no use for them at all except for purely ironic purposes. It annoyed him to no end.
John noticed his looking, waved and was the first one to come over. "Hey, you're one of the trolls."
"No I'm a magical fairy who traverses doomed SGRUB/SBURB games..."
"Sorry that was a bit of a stupid first line. Umm, I have to ask which one of you is Karkat?" He asked, a stupid grin on his face. Mathis looked over his shoulder to the trolls behind him.
"He's the one with the nubby horns and the leader complex..."
"I HEARD THAT FARRIN! MY HORNS AREN'T NUBBY!"
"Whatever you want to believe, Kar... That would be him..." Mathis mused as he turned back to face John. He looked over Mathis' head and then looked back to him. "Thanks!" He began to move off, for which Mathis was glad, but stopped looking back to him. "I never asked your name."
"Mathis... We talked once before in a memo... I was--"
"pickleDictator, right?"
Mathis smirked. His chumhandle always made him smirk. It was the most random handle ever but he loved the way it sounded. "Yes... That is I..."
John smiled, "It's good to meet you finally!"
"Yeah..." Mathis wasn't sure what to think about John, now finally meeting him. He was definitely random and quite the odd ball. Though Mathis did have to applaud the kid for being the only one in his group to ascend to God Tier. Though Rose's Grimdark powers could rival that of a God Tier.
Kanaya walked past, heading towards the dwindling group of humans. She approached the Rose human and began to converse. Rose looked utterly bored with the entire situation but Kanaya looked pleased as grub sauce. Everyone was getting along so well, he hated it. He should be happy for all of them ,trolls and humans, for surviving the hell of a game that they were being put through. Mathis just felt as if he was beign played. Evryone was getting all the good cards and he was just being dealt joker after joker in an evil card game out to get him. And the game was winning.His home, his life, ... his love. All of it snatched away by this mnic game of strife. It had taken everything from him but his own life and that of his moirails, Deyria.
He brought his knees to his chest, flopping his head against them. He wanted to dissappear in his own mind, to be taken away from it all. He didn't notice that the humans had ll converged with the trolls and that he was now facing emptyness. A similar emptyness that sat in the center of his soul and corrupted him.
A soft thunk sounded beside him. Mathis reluctantly turned to see who his visitor was. Of course, as his luck would have, it was the one person he really did not want to talk to at all in any scheme of time or timeline whatsoever. "I thought you'd be gushing over things with your new gal pal Ter..."
Dave gave what Mathis guessed was a 'are you serious' look adn said, "Nah, already talked to her and the others. Your just the only one left." Mathis turned his head away, returning to stare at the open emptyness of nothing. "You seem like a pretty sad scak just sitting here."
"Whatever's bothering me is none of your human concern... And I don't need your pitty..."
"Hey I'm just sticking out for a bro."
"You don't even know me... You don't know anything of what I've been through..." Mathis stood with a surge of raging energy. Dave scoffed at Mathis' attitude.
"What? Did your girlfriend dump you or something?" This set Mathis off. He trandformed into his God Tier outfit, ice blue luna moth wings unfurling. Dave seemed to be completely cool with Mathis' entire blow out and just stood and grinned like he was watching a wriggler get angry over something completely stupid. "You look like some sort of wannabe ninja for a grape orchard." Small bursts of laughter surrounded each word he spoke, and all Mathis could think of was ripping his heart out.
"Say that again and I swear I'll let you se hell..." Silence had come over the group  to his left. Karkat had stepped forward, hands outstretched as if to calm Mathis. Not this time.
"DAVE... DON'T PROVOKE HIM, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE CAN DO."
Dave scoffed,"Naw, I got this. I can take on a distraught God Tier. I mean I could beat up Egbert even if he's God Tier. Isn't that right?"
"Yep." Mused John.
"See? I'm fine. So, moon boy," He said, poking the silver symbol of his title that adorned his chest. "what are ya brooding over? It can't be that terrible, loosing a girlfriend and all. There's plenty of fish in the sea who will be grabbing for you in --" Mathis grabbed Dave's shirt collar and ripped the stupidly ironic sunglasses off his face. He stared straight inot his flame red eyes and could see everything. He released Dave, still holding his gaze, and took a few steps back as Dave was surounded by black sandy mist. Daves eyes seemed to not be able to see anything, but his face told another story. His eyes widened and his pupils shrunk to pinpoints. His hands shook where they humg at his sides. His usual cool demeanor and air of confidence was completely gone. Putting his hands on the side of his head he began to whimper at whatever he was hearing, and sunk to his knees.
"M4TH1S ST0P!! ST0P 1T!!" Terezi screamed. Her glasses skewed themselves, pure red eyes filled with emotion and love paler than the color of her eyes. Teal tears streamed from her cherry eyes; quite a contrast, the red and the blue. Mathis turned his head to Terezi, images dancing within her red eyes.
"I'm not doing anything... He's letting his own mind get to him..."
"TH4TS N0T WH4T 1 ME4N!! ST0P M4K1NG H1M S33 TH3M!!!"
He looked away "Only he can stop the own crap that comes from his mind..."
"Y0U B4ST4RD!" She charged towards Mathis but was stopped by Deyria's arms wrapping around her chest. Terezi thrashed against her kismeisis's grasp trying to reach her tormented moirail.
"ClaM DowN YoU CrazY TrolL!! He'lL MesS yoU UP ToO IF YoU GO OveR TherE!" She struggled to get out to Terezi. She soon gave up and flopped against the arms of her kismeisis. 
Dave had crumpled onto the ground his head on his knees, and he was screaming. Shrill cries of pain and sadness, of regret and being forced to believe he was the cause of that particular follie. Mathis stared at him, rage burning within him, his face unchanged.
Soft hands traced the sides of his cheeks, lips touched his forehead. The fresh smell of seawater curled around him. His eyes widened his guard dropped and the black cloud around Dave dissapeared. He flopped over and Terezi ran for Dave, released by her kismeisis. Mathis was stock still, this was no memory of Dave's come to plague him. He was almost certain Dave had never even had contact with Feferi let alone see her. He closed his eyes and leaned his head forward to touch the smooth side of the dream bubble that had floated past in his concentration. Dream bubbles could hold the spirits of the dead and, of course where the remaining trolls could dream after Prospit and Derse, the moons that they sued to dream on, were destroyed.
"Mat)(is, w)(y are you doing t)(is?" Sorrow laced her bubbly voice, a change from how she had treated everyday things when she was alive.
"Dave was talking bad about you... He provoked me..." His voice quavered and he lifted his head to look into the bubble. She was just as beautiful as he remembered her to be. Her long black hair that always smelled of the sea and the many colorful things she adorned herself with. "I miss you so much Fef..." She smiled a little.
"I miss you too Mat)(is. But you can't do t)(ese t)(ings. Shore I'm not around anymore, but you're better t)(an t)(is. I know it."
"But.. I..."
"She tapped his nose "No 'buts' Mat)(is." She leaned forward and huged him, "Don't let your rage consume you like t)(at. You'll end up just like Eridan if you do." Leaning back she took the golden tiara that, past the color of her royal blood, signified her places as the Empress to be, and held it in her outstretched hand. "Take t)(is."
"Fef,I-I can't..."
"Yes you can. You're t)(e T)(ief of Dreams aren't you? You can take objects out of )(ere." Mathis paused and looked to the tiara, picking it up in his hand. There was a little resistance as he pulled it from the bubble, but it remained intact. No black dust on it. It was pure, unlike the may objects he had pulled from the eyes of others. A thought occured to him.
"Fef I could get you out! I could pull you from the bubble like I did this." He said gesturing to the tiara. But she shook her head.
"You can't. Objects are different t)(an souls. They don't need somet)(ing to keep t)(em grounded, but a soul does." Hot tears began to stream down his face. He tried to rub away the tears but he couldn't.
"It's just not fair, Fef.."
"I know." She placed her hands on his shoulders, pushing him back ever so slightly. "But you can always come and sea me w)(en you dream." She smiled her usual peppy smile and kissed his forehead again. "I love you Mat)(is." And then she was gone, the bubble had moved on. He could follow it, but he knew he shouldn't both in that he would get lost in the blackness and a sense that he didn't need to.
A hand touched his arm, Deyria was there. Mathis gave a tennative smile to his moirail. "ArE YoU OkaY MathiS?" She asked.
He paused, looked down at feferi's golden tiara, as solid as any normal object, and smiled. "Yeah. Yeah I am now..."

10 Ways to Die in Homestuck RP's ((Non story post))

1) Be shot through the chest with a magic science wand bolt.
2) Become a zombie and be preyed upon by everyone
3) Be suffocated by the Grand Highboob's, boobs
4) Be revived and shot through the chest again by a magic science wand
5) Be beaten up by Equius and tossed across the room
6) Initiate a battle based off of puns and insults, be stabbed
7) Be crushed by a giant rock
8) Stabbed in the gut during a fight to protect a horny character
9) Have neck snapped after being in between life and death for about a half hour.
10) Suffocated in a horn pile after being lost in it

All of these actually occured in the Homestuck RP I did over the weekend and ended up in a death or almost death. 1, 4, and 8 happened to/by my character.
I regret nothing.

Roleplay of Awesome ((non story post))

12 hours. You don't necessarily know that that much time has passed until someone mentions in the next day.
I regret nothing.


Bet you're all wondering "What are you going on about?". Well I'll give some context to your confusion. 
Well last night I joined a livestream to watch the making of art for an ask blog on tumbler. (http://ask6amzee.tumblr.com/ ) It was my normal livestream routine, stay quiet maybe read the chat box of what was going on. But I felt talkative that day and I decided to go in under my alias, Herald of Truth. It was fun to begin with, I was putting in quips and began to get into the conversation.  Then some people began to roleplay as various Homestuck characters. First I think it was Karkat, then other people began to change their chat names to other characters. Feferi, Sollux, Eridan, Tavros, Gamzee, I even changed mine after a while to my fan character Deyria. Eridan though was by far the craziest of the group. I think normal people would call him insane or such but I found it hilarious. After Deyria, who is in love with Eridan in her character, was rejected by Eridan quite spectacularly I changed to my other fan character Mathis. Mathis is much different from Dey in that he really doesn't like Eridan at all. But well get to their conflict later.
But first Mathis got into a fight with Karkat of which Karkat lost after another character, Equius, with the same range of blood status as Mathis joined in to .... Pacify? Karkat with...his fists. :| Yeah.... Anyway. After this Eridan began to hit on Feferi where in Sollux began to intervene. As both are vying for Feferi's matesprit feelings (I'm not going to go into troll relationships in Homestuck in this post) they were in essence, rivals and often got into fights. Mathis really made no attempt to passify it and instead sort of hung around. Feferi decided to make the decision of who she would go with, Eridan or Sollux, which ended in her dumping both of them. As of that Eridan and Sollux began to scuffle again, whether Eridan did it to get Sollux to be his kismeisis (once again romances, complicated, later post) or he was sill exacting his love rivalry I don't remember. After a while, though, Feferi ran off believing that she had done some wrong and locked herself in her hive (the equivalent of a home/house). Eridan and Sollux ran after her attempting to get her to come out but to no avail. Feferi really did not want to come out. Mathis, being a gentleman, asked if she wanted to talk to someone else. She didn't really want to talk. At some point after that Sollux went AFK and Eridan busted his way into Feferi's house via a window. Mathis was then able to get in and attempt to get Feferi out of there. At this point Sollux turned up and began to fight with Eridan, again, this time definitely over Eridan's black advances (romance, later post). Feferi was a bit hysterical and was blaming herself for Eridan and Sollux fighting and Mathis tried to console her. Telling her that it was never her fault, that it was Eridan being insane. Feferi began to listen to Mathis and, being the chivalrous guy, Mathis went off to confront Eridan but not before being kissed on the cheek by Feferi and being wished good luck.
When confronting Eridan, Mathis gets himself killed making Feferi distraught. But is revived after being kissed by her (a revival technique in Homestuck, only works once.). After revival Feferi states her redrom love for Mathis and Mathis to her. He the goes off to confront Eridan again, but with more tactics. Feferi tries to stop him saying that she wasn't worth it, but he say otherwise and goes off to confront him. Sneaking up behind, Mathis almost defeats Eridan but gets shot through the chest. Feferi goes to him as he's dying and stays with him. She tells Eridan to kill her, which Mathis is completely against saying she has so much to live for. Things begin to get out of hand from here.


Confused? Good! XD


Insanity ensues again tonight and I've found very relatable good people through this. Which is definitely an experience I will never give up.
I hope stuff like this happens again!

Of Fish and Fawn (Homestuck Fanfic part 1)

Starry skies shimmered over the port town of Alternia, and a girl ran. She enjoyed running errands, even at her small age of 3 sweeps,  and her masters loved her for it. They were always kind to her, plus all the errand runs allowed her to go past the docks and see all the beautiful ships. Oh how she longed to venture out into those waters. What mysteries did they hold? What adventures would lie in wait for the girl with dreams of grandeur? She would most likely never know. Her feet traipsed gleefully against the cobbled stones of the dockyard. Even this early into the night it was buzzing with activity, more than usual. And she was here just as many others were who's excitement filled the air. There was news of a royal family coming into this port. None as high as the Empress but more like, sub-royalty. Her small size allowed her to squeeze through the amassing crowd and push her way closer to where the arriving ships would be. As she breached the sea of legs and dresses she saw what she came for. High purple sails towered over the grand body of the ship. It's masts looking like the grand horns of a proud adult troll. It was amazing, the combination of the sea breeze brushing her face and the purple sails billowing as it blew was intoxicating. She continued forward despite the few warnings of the adult crowd behind her. What harm could come in getting a closer look. Crouching down behind a stack of boxes she waited for the show.
Not long after the royals began to depart. Women in flowing gowns of the highest caliber and men in dapper suits that made them really look like proper gentlemen. All of their clothing was adorned with some form of that royal purple color, marking their blood status. The crowd behind gasped in awe and respect. A few of the blue bloods bowed and curtsied at the arrivals but most just stared at their glory. She didn't care about their status all she saw was their beauty and grace and, oh, those wonderful gowns. How she wished she could twirl and be beautiful like them. She ducked behind another set of boxes ever closer to the beautiful royals but keeping her back to a store wall. Continuing to stare, she was shocked when something brushed up against her. Jolting to the side to hide herself a little more from the crowd, she looked at her visitor. It was a boy but him being there wasn't all that shocked her. He was dressed in the same regal purple as the visitors. He was a noble, a royal, and a sea dweller at that. He gave hr a happy smile and gestured for her to sit again. She didn't know what to do, obey out of respect or sit because he looked kind or to run like a squeakbird out of hell. She sat, slightly more out of fear than anything, and took more glances at her royal compatriot than at the workings of the dockyard. His horns were much different from hers. Hers being straight and simple, his were wavy like the oceans he resided in. His eyes were curious and gleeful and didn't seem to account her own blood status, being the exact polar opposite of his. He was within the second highest cast, she the second lowest. Even being a curious child like herself, she was still obligated to hold him in high regard, she was to remember her place in society. He noticed her looking, smiled that infectious grin and began to say something. But was cut short by the calls of a woman, whom she presumed to be the envoy the boy traveled with, and ran off before saying anything.
The girl was in shock. Never did she expect her dockyard escapade to turn out like this. Thinking that this was probably enough for one day, she gathered the materials of her errand and returned to her masters, but not before receiving another grin and a wave from the sea-dwelling boy as he passed down the road she traveled.


Sweeps pass and the girl has grown. Now 9 sweeps, the girl has seen a lot. She has seen the start of a rebellion, and she does not remember the day of wonder when she met  the sea-dwelling boy. Still living with the same masters she still does the same errands every week and it has become more of a monotony than the exiting adventure it used to be. The dock, similar to what it has always been, was larger than years past. Capable of containing many more ships than before. The port town has changed little but is now full of sailors and soldiers of the high-bloods. Walking down the main street she noticed a glow. It was an odd glow, an orange glow, akin to that of the dawn. But it was nowhere near dawn, the night had just started. Then there was the smell on the wind and she knew what it was. Fire. There was a fire burning far into town. It wasn't scary more like a bug to a lamp, intoxicating. Moving closer she saw people running towards her carrying things, long, slender thing she couldn't quite make out in the light of the fire. That was until they got closer. It was the rebellion itself attacking their town. Her eyes widened in fear and she darted into the closest alleyway at a running pace. Faster than she knew possible the buildings around her were ablaze, screams of fear, delight and cries of battle echoed through out the halls of buildings. She reached a small square, two exists already blocked off by the collapsed walkways burning and blocking her exits. She tried to go back the way she came but in her stupor it had become blocked as well. She was trapped in an all encompassing fire. The heat burned her skin and it felt as if it were searing her without touching it. She stood, twirling around in a panic. Until one of the exits blazed red and blue and seeming to gain a life of its own, lifting from the ground and being sent hurtling in the other direction. A girl leaped in, her hair like the mane of a meowbeast, followed by a man in yellow with dual horns. She grabbed her arm and pulled her along behind her. The yellow clad man ran out ahead and stopped short. "Disciple, Psiioniic! The Signless is in trouble. I'll help the girl." Said a woman in beautiful jade colored garb. Fear visibly gripped the Disciple as she tensed, her meowbeast like eyes widening in terror. The Disciple and the Psiioniic took no other word and ran off in a flurry of green and yellow The woman grabbed her hand and dragged her along to where she must have believed her to be safe. "Who are you?" she cried as she turned to return to the fray. "You can call me the Dolorosa, and you'll be safe as long as you stay here." and without another word she left.
But the girl was stubborn and far too curious for her own good. Even the scare of her own life, trapped within the confines of burning buildings, and facing her death did not deter her from satisfying her curiosity. Dashing across the docks, searing fire meeting ice cold water, she came to the fray of battle. That is, just in time to see the end of it. To see the grey clad Signless being defeated and captured.
She began to back up and run, back to the place she considered home, but rough hands grabbed her and pain laced up her body.


Medennas jolted awake. The nightmares of the Sufferer's defeat and his martyrdom in the days that followed plagued her dreams and, though almost an entire sweep later, still shook her to her core. That single rough moment at the end of her dream is what landed her here of all places. She was accused of being part of the rebellion and was placed into slavery which inevitably landed her under the ownership of her current master. A much crueler man than her previous masters, whom she could have almost considered family.